Game Closet: Cargo Noir

Cargo Noir, by Days of Wonder

As a relative newcomer to the board game scene, I am a big fan of publisher, "Days of Wonder." They have consistently released games that look great, feel great, and can be played by the whole family.  "Ticket to Ride" and "Smallworld" continue to be two of my favorite game franchises because of their simple rules, their gorgeous presentation, and the ability to use them as gateway games for those raised only on "Scrabble" and "Monopoly."

Last year's release from DoW, "Mystery Express" scratched the sleuthing itch that "Clue" used to provide before I became older.  Trying to figure out the who, what, when, where, and how of a murder aboard a locomotive before it gets to its final destination has never yet failed to be a hit with anyone who once enjoyed figuring out Mr. Boddy's untimely demise.

So it was with great hopes and anticipation that I welcomed Days of Wonder's latest release, "Cargo Noir," a game who's theme - globe-trotting smugglers competing for contraband to turn into fame and fortune - is right up my alley.

And as far as presentation goes, "Cargo Noir" doesn't disappoint: beautiful art that is playful, vibrant, and colorful to balance out the seedy theme; large, chunky plastic coins to use to purchase contraband; weighty and colorful boat pawns; and gorgeous board that is customizable depending on the number of players (2-5).

The Board: all sizzle, no steak.

At its heart, "Cargo Noir" is a bidding game combined with set-collection.  As cargo tokens are revealed in certain ports (randomized by drawing them out of a suspicious-looking, black bag), players will send their ships out to port hoping claim that cargo, and will do so by bidding on that port with the plastic coins in their "treasury" (7 to start; more can be earned by visiting the casino in Macao).

Contested ports will go back-and-forth by round with each player having to ante-up the amount they are willing to pay for cargo, or pull out of port, taking their money with them.  The last player in port gets to purchase all of the cargo with the coins he bid at the start of the next round.

The Player Mat

Players can then trade in their cargo to purchase victory spoils which translates to victory points at the end of the game.  Some (very few, actually only three) of the spoils help players out during the game by adding additional warehouses to store cargo, additional ships to their smuggling fleet, or the ability to collect money when forfeiting a port.

After the final round, players tally up the amount of victory points on their spoils and the winner is declared.  All of this happens in about an hour or less.

If my description of the game sounds rather "meh," it's because it is - "Cargo Noir" just isn't a very fun game.

And I don't say this as a boardgame snob who has played a wealth of brain-burning, intense titles who isn't satisfied with simpler fare.  In fact, I prefer simpler fare - I want something that I can take out, teach to people in 10 minutes, and spend the next 50-90 minutes having a blast.  But besides being able to teach "Cargo Noir" quickly (after getting through a clunky initial turn) no blasts are to be had.  My group and I had no laughs while playing, there were no "oh, you got the one I needed!" moments, there was no excitement in the final rounds to see who would eek out a win - it was all very ho-hum.

And when I can get (and have gotten) through entire games without getting into a single bidding war - on a game centered around bidding wars - well, this won't be hitting the table much longer.

In part, I blame the lack of "Take-That" - a core component of fun for me and my group.  The only cards that affect gameplay are too few, yet easily accessed by all player; there are no cards that have a negative effect, or cards that can be purchased and played against an opponent to make their job a little harder.

And why isn't there? In a game about smuggling, how come there isn't a card that requires an opponent to bribe a Customs agent each time they enter a port? Why isn't there the ability to steal cargo from your opponent's warehouses? Why can't you blockade an opponent from a specific port for a round, or be able to get the cargo in a port for half-price? Every victory spoil in the game should have some effect that changes the course of the game during play, instead they are merely placeholders for the end-game victory point tally.  What a wasted opportunity, especially since the theme of the game feels completely tacked on and there's no reason why "Cargo Noir" is a smuggling game any more than it could be a bland Euro with the same bland mechanics.

Trading-in cargo isn't particularly enjoyable or skillful, and the press-your-luck of trying to amass identical cargo for larger victory points isn't worlds better than just trading-in different types of cargo and gaining marginally fewer points to purchase Spoils with.

Furthermore, there's no relative value to any of the cargo - gold is worth as much as cigars, which is worth as much as booze, which is the same as weapons.  So there's no incentive to go for particular types of cargo unless you already have amassed a large matching set of cargo (which, again, isn't particularly advantageous).  Nor is there really an incentive to shut an opponent out of a particular type of cargo, unless your opponent is in the situation where they are about to go for nine-of-a-kind set - a rare instance.  But even if shut out, he could always choose to go to the Black Market in Macao and just draw a random cargo from the bag and hope he gets a matching set.

Which brings up the fact that for every ship in the Black Market, you can choose to draw a random cargo out of the bag.  Since no cargo has any more value than any other, if you're only playing a numbers game and don't care about matching sets, there's no reason to ever go to any port except the Black Market.

I thought about "Ticket to Ride" in comparison to "Cargo Noir" and why I like "TTR," even though "TTR" can also be played in a very non-confrontational manner.  But even though you can try to play non-confrontationally, each individual's hidden routes generally creates unintentional competitiveness when trying to connect routes efficiently.  If you see someone closing in on a route you need, and you see the amount of points you'll lose if you don't connect those routes, that's when a relaxed game of TTR gets nasty and fun.  "Cargo Noir" never has that element because nothing is hidden from other players and value of cargo is inconsequential compared to the value of a route in TTR.

So it's a shame, but "Cargo Noir" is a bust for me.  The feeling with my group is mutual.

Too bad, too, because it sure is easy on the eyes.

Disclaimer: Review copy supplied by Days of Wonder